Faced with this situation, anxiety becomes the echo of our interior to activate the button to “please others”. Thus, we manage to overcome it by allowing others to feel good.
But at what cost ?
At the price of not giving us priority, to relegate ourselves to the second plant and to be in constant search for the approval of others.
Are other people your source of happiness?
It seems paradoxical to think that to please others can make us suffer. However, there is an explanation for this: we leave our own happiness in the hands of others.
At the moment when we are pleasing to feel good, the moment we try that anger or disappointment of the other towards something we did not want to do as she wished, we are anxious to reverse the situation.
We are in a dead end.
- We can not sleep because a friend got angry because we told her “no” to see each other, because we did not want to, or because that we had a headache.
- Nor can we worry that we have not responded to the expectations of others.
- We must learn to accept the anger, the refusal, the bad heads of others in the face of our own opinions, actions or decisions. That will end up passing them!
Start to make you happy
To make a fresh start and stop giving pleasure to others, you have to do a lot of work to increase your self-esteem, because it is probably that, added to your lack of assurance, that pushes you to do so.
Start saying “no” when you say “no”. If someone gets angry, do not be desperate because sooner or later it will pass (it’s not the end of the world) and give yourself priority.
Give priority to your decisions, what you want, your opinions and your dreams. But most importantly, give priority to your well-being.
You do not have to do anything that keeps you from feeling good. You are used for nothing. You suffer and it is paid with anxiety or depression.