The sad truth when it comes to recovering from someone you did not leave

When relationships have labels, you are together or you are not. You are single or in a relationship. But when you invest emotionally with someone you do not go out with or do not give you what you need, you are constantly looking for validation through fuzzy lines rewritten over and over again.

You hope that someday there will be something.

But then, you are struck by a cooling reality, that thing in which you are invested emotionally is over.

What is difficult in this situation is that there was no beginning. Suddenly, you were just emotionally invested with this person without a return.

You still have to cry a relationship that was not really one, but you loved it as if it were true.

The feelings are real and you do not need a label to justify that.

Do not let anyone make you feel guilty for this grief. Sometimes we like people with whom we have not gone deeper than anyone before.

It’s not a break, but it looks like it. You do not sleep at night. You are crying at three in the morning. You are tired of looking at your phone, remembering messages or notifications that woke you up.

Now your phone is a little quieter. The pain is a little deeper, but you can not express these things publicly.

You can not break down because if you do, people will try to justify that reaction and say something like, “But you did not even go out with it! “

You do not have to go out with people to fall in love. And you do not have to go out with people to suffer. When you love someone, the pain is exactly the same.

But the hardest part is trying to move forward when he does not realize that you are suffering.

So, you answer his messages. You try to stay strong. You claim that you accept the circumstances and that you can be friendly and cordial.

I know how much it hurts. I know what it’s like to replay the script in your head, I wonder what signs you misunderstood. I know what it’s like to spend time with someone with whom you may not even have a physical relationship, but for whom you feel something very emotional.

And I know what it’s like not being able to express clearly that pain that consumes you. Your heart has been broken by someone who should be easy to forget. But when you love someone and you really want to be something more, the pain you feel will take time to leave. And that’s normal.

But what is not normal is to try to be strong by keeping it in your life.

Maybe he notices that you are moving away. Maybe he realizes you do not talk so much. Maybe he’s calling you to ask if something is wrong.

And part of you wants to cry yes. I am in pain. I feel completely broken. You destroyed me. But you remain silent because the end of a relationship that has not even had a beginning makes you look like a fool.

But that’s not all about you. This person led you to believe that something was there. If he had been completely honest from the beginning, you would not have been in love so quickly, but he did not do it. Instead, he knew how you felt, maybe he added fuel to the fire. Maybe there was a physical relationship without a label. Maybe he told you everything you wanted to hear to keep you, because your presence was stimulating his ego.

Regardless of how it applies to you and your situation, someone will let you fall in love with no intention of taking you. So, do not feel guilty for this pain that you feel you have to repress simply because there was no tag attached.

Cry as much as it takes. Feel things as deeply as you can. Move away without explanation because you do not deserve this pain and it does not deserve you.

But make sure that when you heal and your tears stop flowing, you will not let him feel that way anymore.

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