And the more I learn about these questions, the more difficult the answer. In fact, studying relationships by being a couple is not easy. In fact, learning what it takes to succeed in a relationship while being in a relationship yourself is, at best, a source of frustration and therefore growth; at worst, a real disaster.
Most of us know that the beginnings of most relationships tend to be filled with love, passion and cheese plates … and that this “honeymoon phase” inevitably ends. Yet, couples who walk last for a reason. Over time, they work together as a team to create a loving and comfortable atmosphere. While everyone is different, I think that the recipe for lasting love is favored by certain qualities …
A competent clinician can say in less than 10 minutes of dating if a couple has a chance to last. How? By asking a simple question: “How engaged are you in this work? The commitment of everyone in the relationship not only tells us if it will last, but also tells us the level of overall satisfaction of both partners.
Let’s face it: relationships require work! Both partners must be willing to work together and not against each other. That said, it is important to note that conflict does not necessarily make a bad relationship. As long as both parties are willing to work to make the relationship work, there is a good chance they will succeed.
Couples who stay together are not happy to love one another, but they actively appreciate each other. Contrary to what Disney says, love is not enough. Walking couples truly admire and respect the other’s point of view, values and goals. It is a practice that requires a sustained effort.
Empathy, unlike sympathy, is about understanding how others feel about their point of view, rather than projecting our own emotions on them. Happy couples work actively to understand and validate each other’s emotional states, which, in turn, increases positive behavior in society (such as helping and volunteering). Getting out of your comfort zone, on occasion, is essential for the other person to feel important.
4. Intimate relationship
We are conditioned to believe that attraction inevitably disappears over time. As you get older, men may experience a drop in testosterone and it may take longer and work to feel excitement. Women, on the other hand, have proportionately more estrogen and feel more excitement.
This increase in desire coupled with the decline of man’s excitement can have an impact on self-esteem and the relationship itself. At this moment, the attraction becomes even more important. The good news is that chemistry increases when both people share the reasons why they are attracted to the other person, whether physically or emotionally.
Happy couples like to spend time together. I’m not just talking about sitting next to each other watching shows while eating freshly ordered meals. I’m talking about spending quality time together and making it a priority.
This may seem obvious, but you would be surprised to see the number of couples who spend time together just for shopping, discussing daycare, or arguing over who left the toothpaste stopper open.