There are times when we want to scold our children and this desire comes from a frustration or an emotion felt at this moment. However, parents generally know that shouting and punishing can affect their esteem and trust and lead to an unhealthy relationship.
Have wishes in harmony with their age
When you go to public places with your children, do not expect them to behave like adults. Accept that they make their own experience. Thus, you will share more freedom and complicity with them and your exchanges will be more playful.
Take care of yourself
By treating you gently and kindly, you will feel more fulfilled and share more love.
On the other hand, when you feel drained or tired with a lack of energy, it is more difficult for you to manage crises. By accepting your children with their weaknesses, you learn to know and respect them and they will feel more confident.
Respect your own limits
If your children do not respect your limits, it is necessary to reframe them nicely and with tact, at the risk of losing patience. Even if you tend to let go to avoid endless crises, it is your parent’s duty to teach them to respect certain limits.
Solutions to educate your children without shouting or punishing them
Stop projecting your fears
When you project your anxieties or negative feelings on your children, such as the fear that they become aggressive, they store this energy and risk seeing themselves as such. This negative feeling influences their state of mind and is reflected later in their behavior.
Look after your own inner child
Children can trigger unresolved conflicts within you, related to your own childhood or your current life. This can affect your attitude towards them, then affect their development and sociability. Learn how to heal and heal to free yourself from all this inner frustration, responding to your children’s actions with more love.
Build an anchor
Associate a physical stimulus with your state of well-being, such as touching your thumb and index finger together or massaging your neck. Memorize this gesture for one minute to make it an emotional marker. Use this anchoring to find a state of calm each time you face a crisis.
Make sure you have a good time together
Attention is a fundamental need for the emotional development of children. Their periods of crisis are often signs to assert their presence and individuality and draw your attention to them. They feel safe and more fulfilled when you share with them quality moments where you are 100% present. They will, therefore, less nonsense.
Do not feel guilty
Guilt and shame are feelings that emit negative vibrations, as opposed to feelings of love, balance and compassion. Guilt takes you away from this inner harmony, but also leads you to a depressive state. Rest assured that you are doing the best you can and that your role as a parent is a responsibility and a lifelong learning process.
Respect and supervise their taste for adventure
When the attention and safety needs of your children are filled, they will then express the desire to discover the world. Give them the opportunity to express their talent as an explorer, it helps them develop their curiosity and their powers of observation and creativity. Supervise their taste for adventure by allowing them to make age-appropriate games without controlling them. Just look at and appreciate the testimony of their growth.
Make sure your children feel understood
Even if you do not always have to give in to your children’s demands, it’s important to take into consideration all their emotions, as it’s normal for them to feel that way. You demonstrate in this way that you understand them, they feel they are seen and there is a good chance that they will give up their seizures.
Respect your children’s decisions
When communicating with your children, honor their “No”. If they prefer to play instead of reading, learn to turn this playful moment into a learning moment. Respecting the decisions and limits of your children allows them to develop a healthy and responsible state of mind.
Give them time to adjust to a change of activity
Sudden changes can trigger children’s resistance, especially when they like what they are doing. It is best to give them time to do it morally, with reminders spaced a few minutes apart. This gives them a structure.
Help them forge their personality
Your children learn from an early age to cope with their peers and adapt to social changes. They have their own personality, have different emotional states and also understand what is going on around them. So talk respectfully to your children, as you would with an adult. You help them to have confidence in themselves and develop their personality.
You can also ask for advice
Do not be ashamed to ask for help when you need it. Admit to your partner that you find it hard to manage everything, join a parent association or hire a counselor. You will learn new techniques that will make your job easier and more enjoyable. Seeking advice is not a sign of weakness, quite the opposite.
In her book “100 ways to be obeyed (without screams or spankings)”, the psychologist Anne Bacus returns on unstoppable techniques for your little wolf to obey you to the finger and the eye. Back to 10 anti-crisis tips tested and validated by the specialist. 10 ways to make you obey by toddlers
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