There is something in which we always invest time and effort: it is the fact of being accepted by the people around us. That is, we seek to be deserving of the admiration of others, of friendship, affection and tenderness.
To conceive our life through this psychological spectrum is however a mistake.
Relationships must be perfect mechanics for the investments and profits of all. The “I offer you so much and you give me so much” is not a selfish act but a normal act of reciprocity.
If I give you respect and tenderness, I deserve the same thing. Becoming aware of this will be of great help in our relationships with others.
This article proposes to you to have a reflection on this subject.
Those who do not spend time do not deserve you
We all know that if there is something missing when the day is over, it’s a long time. But when we do, we know how to spend it: with those who are important in our lives.
- If a person close to you does not practice this “common sense” with you, it is because he does not value you as you deserve.
- You should also know that the principle of reciprocity does not exclude us either: If you love a person, prove to him by offering him time and quality time.
If you do not do this, it is quite possible that the person will start moving away from you.
If someone looks at you but does not see you, or listens to you but does not hear you, do not deserve you either
There is a contrast between watching and seeing, and between listening and hearing.
We must be able to develop a deeper depth when we build healthy relationships. We must learn to “see and hear” with the heart.
- There are couples who get used to the mere presence of the other as a piece of furniture by their side.
- They hear voices and see their silhouettes but do not notice their sadness and do not participate in their personal universe.
- Healthy and rewarding communication is one in which one speaks and where one listens, where there is empathy and a real interest. It is hard to decipher everything that is, sometimes, beyond mere words.
If someone does not leave you space, do not let you breathe or speak then he does not deserve you
Anyone who occupies your space by leaving you alone, weakening your values, ridiculing your actions and words does not deserve you.
- Do not forget that there are people who scribble personalities and cancel identities.
- We are talking about, for example, those parents who strive to control their children to the extreme, those toxic partners who dominate the beloved, or even those business leaders who confuse leadership and oppression.
If someone gives you selfishness in exchange for altruism then he does not deserve you
Nobody forces us to pay attention to others, to give them favors, to devote time to them and to perform these altruistic acts which simply come from the heart and do not expect anything in exchange.
But, there are people who take these marks of attention as rights. Who think that this nobility is a cap to cling to weave their own interests and do not hesitate to become demanding, to ask for things that end up making us feel uncomfortable.
If you feel in such a situation, if you notice that someone is practicing selfishness with you and enjoying your goodness, put some distance.
If someone is lying to you every day, then he does not deserve you
The most painful lies come from those we love most. We are aware that lies or half-truths are very common in everyday life.
- But, there is a threshold of tolerance. We accept these half-truths that consist of avoiding being sincere for fear of what we say or simply by fear or shame.
- However, what few tolerate is the impertinent lie, the one that hides subterranean dimensions that directly affect the other.
- If you are sure someone is lying to you right now, do not hesitate to talk to her and ask her why. Depending on how she reacts, and her attitude following the first warning, act.
In conclusion, remember that personal and emotional integrity is our daily priority.
Remember that we all deserve something. What’s around you has to be pretty, meaningful and rewarding.