Many of us spend half of our life trying to hide our imperfections with loose clothing or makeup.
These are details that we ourselves call “pesky defects”, capable of plunging our self-esteem when in fact these are aspects of our personalities and we must therefore accept them as such, and this, the most early possible.
The real faults of the human being are not extra pounds, a crooked nose, small or big breasts, baldness, etc.
The real flaws are misunderstanding, disrespect, criticism, egoism or aggression. It is against this that we must fight at all costs.
We invite you here to reflect on this.
Your faults, my faults: our virtues
It is often said that we are a society made of rational scholars but emotional illiterates.
It may seem slightly dramatized, no doubt, but in reality, what we perceive in our daily lives is that it lacks values such as empathy, reciprocity or the recognition of others as someone who also has needs and fears.
In schools, we have not yet introduced the subject of emotional intelligence.
Instead of seeing this approach from a multi-dimensional point of view able to structure all the subjects and where the teachers should be the best models, we continue to teach it in isolation and only a few times a week (if ever) .
All of this means that we continue to create unsuspecting children, with low self-esteem, adolescents who see flaws at home to the point of turning them into real black holes that others feel and use. against them.
It is something complex and delicate that we must know how to face.
The anatomy of self-esteem
When I have low self-esteem, I expect others, with their words and actions, to offer me what I miss: trust and security. Let them flatter me and tell me that I’m not as ugly as I think, that they tell me I’m a better person than I think.
- We must understand that others do not give us or take away anything. The rest of the world is not made to fill our gaps, nor to give security to our fears.
- We must not project our own needs on others, we must be able to build our own security and rationalize what we label as defects.
- If I call my face a stained face or a crooked nose and I consider it horrible, others will realize it and at some point will necessarily use it against me.
- Now, it is necessary to realize that the real defect in this case is the weak “self-esteem” that can force me to shyly move around the world with my gaze down.
The rest of the people will not attack these supposed physical details, they will attack our personal vulnerability. That is why it is vital to reinforce one’s self-esteem, to make these defects qualities.
Defects: the qualities that make us unique
We repeat what we said at the beginning: the authentic defect is in a heart that can attack, humiliate or harm others.
- The physical aspect, the way of thinking, feeling or living will never be a fault or a reproach as long as respect exists.
- The problem with all this lies in the fact that we spend a large part of our existence more worried about the outside than the inside.
- We validate our physical appearance only when it is based on the modes, on what others evaluate as “beautiful”. If we do not enter this “mold”, we exclude ourselves. It’s not good for anyone.
- Only when we accept ourselves will we realize the value we have.
- People who are able to see this special detail and different from the rest as a quality are happy people because they consider themselves genuine.
To be too tall, to be too small, to have a mole on the cheek, to be born with curly and horribly rebellious hair, or to have a strong breast, or a small breast … How important?
The beauty of people lies in their variety, and in their originality. To aspire to be all the same is to take away the wings of our essence and beauty. It’s not worth it.
There are no people who have faults, there are spirits with voids. Take another approach to your life and start listening to your self-esteem, your way of being, your unique and special beauty.