It’s really hard to describe. But for a long time I had the impression that I missed an essential piece in me to be who I was. I woke up and turned to my bed after dreaming of you. I stayed there for a while to think of all that I had done wrong.
I never touched the sweatshirt that you gave me that is in the closet. Your favorite book was taking the dust off the shelf. And the picture of the photo booth that has aged with time began to tarnish like us over the years.
Over the years, I have brought many other boys to the place that was once ours. But I always asked not to sit where we sat the first time.
There was always beer, I drank it thinking about you because it was your favorite.
People stopped mentioning your name in conversations. People stopped asking me where you were or what you were doing. Everyone except me .
And every birthday I hesitated to send you sms and to call you but I was afraid of what I was going to find. I was afraid to find out that I did not miss you at all.
Our presence on social media did not exist and all the signs that showed you were an indispensable part of my life were not marked but they were not forgotten because I always thought about you and I felt empty when I thought about it too much.
But the truth is that you took a piece of me with you when you left.
What you did not know was that every Sunday I always prayed for you, asking God to come back. Each year, I have always sent another card or letter hoping for an answer from you. And people were asking me why I was still trying and I noticed a quote on my wall and I read it every day.
“When someone is in your heart, he never really left. He can come back to you, even when it seems unlikely, “(Mitch Albom)
They asked me how many letters I had written to him. 1 per year for the last 5 years.
5 years. 5 years old and I could still see a reflection of you through me. To see parts of me that made the person I was thanks to the love you gave me, the things you taught me and the person you were to me. The truth is that I was myself and someone I was proud to be, but it was largely because of you that I became that person. And if you strip me of all that, you’d see a piece of yourself too.
See also: Relationships: the best are the ones you do not expect.
My life began to progress as it had for years.
Then that day arrived. Your name appeared on my phone as I had always wanted. I was somewhere between excitement, fear and disbelief, I did not realize you were back.
Small conversations have become plans. And I found myself looking in the mirror repeatedly having to see your reflection. A million questions have crossed my mind, but for some reason, the answers are not important. All that mattered was that we were together again.
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I did not know the skeptics because I did not care what they thought. You were the only one who counted.
And in a crowded room of people singing and a celebration going on, I looked at many faces around, then I saw you. For the first time I felt that nothing was missing in me. For five years my heart was whole again.
Because you were more than someone I loved at the time, you taught me that love does not fade with time. You taught me that love is strong enough to overcome time, circumstances and heartbreaks. But despite the doubts and questions, I never gave up. While many could not understand and me at times, I never stopped believing in your return.
I’m looking at you now and people say I’m happier. The truth is, I’m happiest when you’re with me.