When you realize that there are toxic people in your life, the first thing you should do is try to get away from it. It can be difficult at first, but keeping negativity in your life is never a good choice. I decided to re-evaluate everyone I know to make sure I was not blinded.
They have attacked my soul and my self-esteem, and now I am too critical of myself, in the same way as they are. I had become toxic, and I did not know what to do.
How I defeated my own demons:
It’s easy to get rid of people, but how do you get rid of negativity in yourself?
I decided to pay more attention each time I recognized a negative or disparaging thought that I should not have had in normal times. Whenever it happened, I would examine it. The things I criticized for the most part were the same as what the toxic people before would have pointed out. It was like I was planning what they would say before they could say it and stop before they could do it.
I knew it had to stop. By removing the toxic people from my life, it was a good start, but I knew I needed more.
I decided to write a list of things for which I’m really good, then a list of things I’m average and a list of features I’m least proud of. I read all the positive things of the first two pages, then I decided to adjust the negative page. I really thought about each element and decided to invest my efforts in something positive.
I wrote several things about which I feel bad on my negative list. Things like niche parking, cooking, playing an instrument. I emphasized each of them and forced myself to write something positive about everyone. For niche parking, I noted that I’m just cautious. I also continued to say that niche parking is difficult for most people and it is normal that I do not want to be stuck in a tiny place with my big car.
For cooking, it was much easier. I told myself that cooking is a very precise and particular science that requires perfection and mastery. I’m not a bad cook, just inexperienced. Given the limited time I spend in the kitchen, I’m actually pretty good, and even though the cooking time is never good, my preparations always taste great.
How you feel about things or what you do not like at home is a matter of perspective. I could just leave my negative list, but I decided to challenge myself and make more and more progress to bring out all the best things in me.
If you realize that you have formed a negative habit or feel very critical of your own feelings, take a moment to write everything and think about what is good. It is much easier to understand how stupid you are when the words are right in front of you.
After how I eliminated the toxic people of my life and defeated my own demons too: