Our society encourages some illusion about relationships in a couple. Growing up watching Walt Disney movies and Hollywood productions makes us believe very early that romantic relationships should not be difficult and that our partner should be considered a god or a goddess. We spend our life searching. But, how to find love? And how do you know it’s the real thing?
When we found our half, at the beginning of the relationship, the euphoria of the honeymoon releases endorphins and other hormones in our body that make us contemplate our spouse as an ideal and thereby producing a sensation of stable happiness. Over time, this state dissipates and leads us to realize that we are in a relationship with a human being and is therefore far from perfect.
Most people often feel guilty about having less positive thoughts or feelings about their spouse. They do not know that it is quite natural not to feel hopelessly in love every moment and sometimes be angry with your partner. In fact, it is quite normal in the end to see your partner as it really is and to wish it to be different.
So leave your guilt aside and read the list below. You will then understand that you are not alone in having negative thoughts about your partner because he does things that do not please you and annoy you.
The truth about human beings:
- They say wacky things,
- They tell silly jokes,
- They are insensitive,
- They sometimes have bad breath,
- They have unwanted hair,
- They say some things in the presence of your children that you do not want them to hear,
- They are grumpy or grumpy,
- They are in a bad mood,
- They are quiet,
- They do not fill the dishwasher the right way,
- They are controlling,
- They are looking for the little beast,
- They have road rage.
To conclude, if you are a couple and especially if you are a sensitive person, you will sometimes be irritated by your half-life, which is not a real problem in itself.
The problem arises when you tell yourself that it should be like this and not like that, because your mind has fallen into the trap of fantasy promoted in movies, according to which your lover must always speak intelligently and make funny jokes or that your lover needs to be refined, be successful, be well dressed and be a sex goddess during your legs up.
Of course, behind the screen, everyone is polite and perfect. If they have bad breath, you will not know it. Their hair is all in place. All the jokes were written by a group of creative people sitting in a room to think of intelligent discussions. All this is not reality!
Would not it be nice if we did not have to work so hard so that we could match what our partner expects from us? Would not it be great if the media told us the truth about it so that we stopped comparing our relationship to all these unrealistic fantasies?
Unfortunately, our culture insists on the transmission and maintenance of these fantasies. I tell you the truth: your partner will not always look attractive. It will not necessarily be because you are in a projection or you are disconnected from reality, although that might be the case. It may just be that you are discovering that you are in a relationship with a human.
So guess what!
You are also a human being. All that I just wrote applies to you as well. Grasping a mirror rather than a magnifying glass can help you soften the judgment that fits in your mind and could come out of your mouth when the idea that you are dealing with an imperfect human being overwhelms you.
The most important thing is to maintain a healthy relationship and especially to learn to accept the weaknesses and quirks of your partner. After accepting them, you will end up loving them. You will then move from the state of craze that teens experience and that our culture calls “being in love” with reality, a mature love that flows like rock water and that will lead to a strong and lasting relationship.