A narcissistic person is able to have such a hold on people through a certain method that they use in all their relationships: intermittent reinforcement. This is essentially when rules, personal boundaries, or rewards are occasionally discounted and unevenly.
As a result of this method, the person will push his limits to get what he wants, without changing his behavior.
A narcissist will do all he can to ensure that you do everything for him and only for him. This is valid for any relationship with a narcissist.
You have a lot of bad experiences, and all of a sudden you come across this beautiful rare moment when they decide to give you a positive feedback for once, putting your mouth watering until the next big “happy-moment” rare.
A narcissist will talk about all the positive aspects of your person, congratulating you for your beauty, your intelligence, and all that they can think of at the moment to make you believe that you are actually going somewhere with them.
Still, without warning, they become a completely different person the next day. They insult you about everything they complimented you the day before, tell you that you have never cared for them or their needs, and any other type of negative lie they can think of, so to make you feel even worse than before.
Here is the technique used by narcissists to keep you hooked
Always remember that if you are caught up with a narcissist, the way you feel is not your fault.
You did not do anything wrong from the start, in fact, you’re the one who made that person happy somehow and that’s exactly how they wanted that you are.
The moment you start to get up and tell them that you have no reason to be with them, they will immediately change their tune. Suddenly you will become a radiant sun, and they will shower you with compliments in the hope that you listen to them and stay.
Some people stay, hoping they will change. This is never the case because once they know they have control over you, they continue to make you doubt your existence as before.