Some parents, although they love their children, sometimes do very badly when they come to their education. Children are cute and adorable people who, by waiting too much on their behalf, end up harming them.
To want your child to succeed in life at all costs does not necessarily require pressure and martyrdom. It will not move you forward.
But demanding parents may be unable to see the desired results.
In this article, we present 5 main causes of mistakes made by overly demanding parents with their children, which you should avoid.
5 mistakes that demanding parents make with their children
1. The requirement to excess does not increase the performance
As parents, it is a sense of pride to have a child, who is beyond all others in everything she does or undertakes. But this feeling of pride must not force us to put pressure on them, or push them to give what they can not offer better.
Contrary to what one might think, putting pressure on, demanding and encouraging our child to give the best of himself, will not increase his performance at school. Here, try to remember what happens when your employer puts pressure on you. Does this motivate you?
Not really ! You will recognize. In general, “over-demand” is counterproductive because it can cause stress and anxiety, which are barriers to the development of the human being. Putting pressure on your child, can be unbearable and demotivate. You should give him the time he needs, support him when he has good results, and comfort him when he has bad ones. Make him understand that he can do better without putting pressure on him.
2. Perfectionism is not a good thing
It is impossible to educate a child in perfectionism.
Demanding parents tend to be very intolerant of the mistakes their children make. But fighting is useless.
Thus, one must learn to tolerate the mistakes they make. Instead of showing your discontent, make them understand that they made a mistake, without blaming them.
3. Unrealizable expectations are frustrating
You’ve probably heard that your expectations must be realistic if you want them to practice.
Know that your child will try to do his best to make you proud of him. But, it is important that what you ask him is possible to achieve. Otherwise, he will be frustrated and may even fall into a depression.
Demanding parents have very high goals for their children but have you wondered what they really want? What are their goals ?
It is good to want them to go as far as possible. But this responsibility is not in our hands.
Goals are personal and no one can establish them or impose them on us.
4. Problems in personal relationships
By waiting too much for your child, it also ends up affecting the nature of his personal relationships. It will begin to give less importance to these, to focus only on the work to be done and the goals to achieve for their parents.
It can also happen that it is too demanding with the others. He will start to expect too much from them, to want to receive the same thing as he gives. This gives rise to disappointments, disillusions and disenchantments.
In relationships, one must also be realistic and not too demanding. Otherwise, we are lost.
5. It is necessary to gain in tenderness
Children who have demanding parents measure the tenderness they can give them based on whether or not they meet the requirements set by them.
Thus, they learn that love is not unconditional, on the contrary. If they make a mistake, their parents will not love them anymore. If they do not meet their expectations, they will not deserve affection.
All this can lead to serious lack of self-esteem and a lack of self-confidence that will translate into future relationships.
Today’s children are under intense pressure and a great need to seek the approval of their parents.
This not only predicts a great misfortune, but also the failure of their future relations.
You have to take into account these different mistakes, and stop over-choking your children. You can educate them without putting pressure on them or under the torture of any requirement!