Accepting to hear some of the messages that our body can send us, through the mediation of some symptoms, such as malfunctions, dysfunctions or organic disorders, especially in times of intimate conflict or in certain phases of change, seems to me no only necessary, but especially a nice gift to be made.
In fact, our body, which is our most faithful companion, (let us beware of forgetting it) tells us, with its own languages, such as “mischief”, forgetfulness, missed acts, sudden emotions. , what is wrong, what resists, or what is fighting in us between several desires, different temptations or choices of life to make.
He tries, in his way to draw our attention to what is not in agreement, in harmony in our life and in particular for all that touches our significant affective relations: parents, husband, wife, child, relatives … He wants to either alert us and invite us to do something about what hurts us, humiliates us, scares us, disturbs us about anything that is not good for us, especially when we receive it from someone one too close, still signaling a tolerance threshold reached, a limit crossed.
We have each one of us directly (by agreeing to be attentive to the atypical, unusual reactions of our body) or indirectly numerous testimonies and examples. It is of course necessary to nuance them, not to be carried away in simplistic interpretations or reliances drawn by the hair, to try to demonstrate that “this cold that does not let go for 3 months, really means I can not I do not feel the office colleague imposed on me! “Or” that this cancer that has just been revealed to me, indicates that I did not accept the death of my daughter, killed by a crazy driver who was sentenced to only two years in prison with reprieve! “. Through a somatization, a mishap, we know that something essential is trying to be said.
At first, we do not know what. It will take a real work of intimate archeology each time to try to hear what is screaming as well. When there is silence words wake up the violence of evils. This means that it is time to be more attentive, more present, to listen to the one who is our best companion, the one who will accompany us to the end of life: our body.
“For years, I had vaginal infections repeatedly, until I realized that I no longer loved this man with whom I lived, with whom I especially loathed to make love … But, before to arrive at this realization, I wandered a lot, I defended myself, I found a lot of excuses, I felt abnormal and guilty of not having feelings for the man I had yet chosen to marry! “
“I did tendinitis repeatedly until I discovered that I had deep inside me, a huge scare of competition and that behind that there was the fear of disappointing my father. Each eve of a contest was terrible for me, I became infernal with my entourage. I put this on the account of the excitement, the fear of not succeeding … “
“I broke my arm while I was an overactive person, always doing it for others. And then I finally heard that it was important for me to be a little more in “being” by agreeing to give myself more to … myself. I had a lot of trouble, because I felt selfish, I felt guilty to death just to start doing less for others and to respect myself in my needs and my pace of life … “
“I have an eye infection that healed in the day, when I finally could” see “my sister, as she was and not as I wanted to see her! “
“Every time I had a bad liver, when I had to go to my future parents-in-law. They were Catholics and I Protestant. I felt good at each visit, how much they would like me to convert to their faith. They always put this question on the carpet about marriage, children to come, balance in a couple. They even told me about Ireland and the violence that came out of the religious conflict … I know, I know, that woman wrote to me, that it sounds too far-fetched, but, you know, when I broke my relationship with their son, I never had a pain in the liver again! “
“I had a lumbago the first week of my arrival in this new city, where my husband’s work had trained me and my children. At the beginning I attributed it to the move, to the boxes too heavy … I took five years and tons of anti-inflammatory to finally understand that it was not my choice of life to me, that I left my family, my friends, a job that I loved, to follow him and that I lived in a state of permanent frustration … That deep down I had betrayed myself, that I had let myself be defined by him, whereas that is the thing I hate the most …
Thus, beyond the care we can provide for the improvement of a symptom, for the reduction of a dysfunction of our body, we can also listen to what it tries to warn us, to wake us up, it can be an invitation to respect ourselves more in our own choices of life or to better define ourselves, to dare to take the risk of hurting those we love, to have the courage not to link our need to be loved or accepted for renunciations or submissions.
There is however a small problem, it does not work as automatically as in the few examples mentioned above. It is not so simple. We are complex beings, inhabited by many contradictions. It may happen that the body expresses and spits even sometimes automatisms, repetitions, reflex responses according to the solicitations of our unconscious or our previous conditioning. I think, for example, to do something like this for something that is good for me, and thus to contravene what my father instilled in me and which I recorded as “what needs to be done, what should not be fact ! I find myself in an intimate conflict, without always knowing it. Conflict between a pleasure and a forbidden. It will be up to me to learn during a “work on oneself”, over the years, to decipher all this … and, it is fascinating.