Do not worry when I scream at you or when I blame you. Do not worry when I run tantrums and send you long speeches to explain why I’m angry. Do not worry when I knock on your door in the middle of the night because I’m in pain. Do not worry when I cry at night because of something you said.
But worry when my messages become answers to a word, worry when I will not fight with you on what you say, worry when I stop knocking on your door and worry when I will stop crying when I stop talking and reacting.
Because it means you will not be worth it, you will not deserve my anger anymore.
But I hate silence. I am not comfortable with unspoken words, with feelings left unattended and hearts neglected.
My words represent my love, my silence represents my departure, it’s the beginning of the end.
My silence means that I do not care, my silence means that you do not deserve my words and that my silence means that I abandon you.
My silence is an answer to your silence.
So do not be afraid of my heated arguments, the ways in which I try to show you who I am, the tears I can not remember because you count a lot for me. Do not fear them, appreciate them, they show that I want to stay, these are all the means by which I try to fight with you because I want to fight for you.
But fear the day when everything will stop, fear the day when everything will calm down, fear the night where you will hurt me and where I smile, fear the moment when I will not answer. Because it will mean that I’m about to leave, it will mean that it’s time for me to disappear.