We would like to be able to hug our mother to say hello, make jokes to make our father laugh, not need alcohol to spend the evening with a group of his closest friends, who should also be our friends the closest as we see each other very often.
Even when we are alone together, there are times when anxiety takes over. Although we are comfortable with our partner more than anyone, we have already faced that. Even if we trust him. Even if it does not bother us to appear vulnerable in front of the person.
But again, we can not help but feel unstable.
It feels like a bad partner because you start fighting stupid things. We get angry because of the way the person looked at us or talked. And we calm down when we come across someone who can speak with ease, someone who could be the person we would like our partner to be with.
Our anxiety gives us the impression of being a bad partner, because we know that the person wants us to accept when something bothers us, but we always pretend that it’s okay.
We are so used to hiding our feelings, we are used to acting as if we agree when we are not at all. It’s hard to get used to someone’s opening. It is strange to know that someone loves us for us, even if we have irrational thoughts that would make someone else uncomfortable.
Our anxiety gives us the impression of being a bad partner, because we ruin the appointments by thinking too much about everything. We are worried about whether we will arrive somewhere on time or follow the right directions. We worry about everything we need to worry about. You can never appreciate a good thing, even if you are sitting next to the love of your life.
Our anxiety gives us the impression of being a bad partner, even if he / she keeps reminding us that this is not the case. That he / she is lucky to have us.