I became a mother at eighteen, for me it was a failure but not a regret. I felt judged. At twenty-three, I had my second daughter. I was a mother of two with poorly paid work.
I had a loving husband and two beautiful children, but I was not happy. I wanted more. To have more, I exchanged my time for some kind of success in particular. The kind of success you can only get with money and a certain status. Something precious against something for which I hoped to be recognized by society.
“The goal of dance is to dance. “
When I was twenty-eight, I had done everything that society told us to do. I went to university, I had a good job and I was reaching the top. I was lucky, but it did not show. The goal was to have everything and to give the impression of having everything easily. Except that nothing was easy. I had missed the main thing, I had forgotten to dance on the song.
“You live your life by analogy, a journey with a pilgrimage to achieve ultimate success, paradise, whatever. You missed the point, you were supposed to dance. “
I got a position with high responsibilities that was far from a dream but it brought me success. Maybe you’ve become a manager of a real estate store or agent. Like me, you work hard every day. You get up and live the routine that will ensure you success. You work harder and longer because you know that if you keep working, success will come.
Approaching quarantine, fatigue begins to be felt. Life makes you pay dearly, but you did it. You succeeded. That existence is what you worked for, that’s all your ego wanted, and you did it. You exchanged precious moments for eight-hour work weeks, but you did it. Now you can dance. Now, life can begin.
You look at your beautiful house and your expensive cars. Then comes the moment when you realize that the cars and the house do not make you feel what you had imagined. These are the symbols of your success. Your ego needed it, but your heart needed something much more precious.
“A song is not only the end. The goal is not just to finish the song. The song is an experience. “
I wanted my daughters to be proud of their mother. I wanted to set a good example. Their mother was going to be someone for them. As I turned their backs on them, I cried too. I hated having to leave them.
In truth, I made the choice to leave. Everything we do in life is a choice. To tell us that we have no choice is totally wrong.
In fact, my daughters did not need a mother with status. It’s just me who needed it. They only needed me. Some days, tears flowed so much that I could not drive, so I sat in the car and stared at my hands. I wondered how my nails were pushing so easily.
I realized we just had to grow up. That we should not make any effort to grow up or die. These things are inevitable. We make them difficult because of the choices we make.
My hair was growing, and my heart was beating without effort or understanding. These seemingly simple things included a lot more about life than me as a person.
I just had to be, exist, experiment, love and have gratitude, but I did not do it. My fight lasted for years. It was far from the picturesque life I was trying to reach. I chose to do it anyway.
“Try to sleep, and you will not be able to sleep. You have to let go. If you do not, you will always try to keep on a leash. “
I think back to my fight to succeed, when I worked during the day and went to school at night. When I think back to this period of my life, I would never have wanted to work harder.
I wish I had more memories with my family.
Now I have everything I wanted at the time, but I do not feel like I felt what I expected. What was I waiting for? I did not feel different from before, except that I had a bigger house and more beautiful clothes.
We all think that when we reach the top, everything will be incredible, but it is not. Your children are getting older and you do not remember the little details.
“We think that if we do not intervene, it will not happen. “
You have put aside your life to live a wait that exists for no one but you. The wait is still there because you gave him the power. To live, you must let her go.
You save all your money to retire. You start living once retired. But in the end, you are too tired to do what you want, and you never realize your dreams.
“Your goal was to dance to the end, but you were so focused on the end that you forgot to dance. “
I left my job at forty, I worked too much and I never had a chance to live. Today, I have a job with less stress. I no longer have the weight of the company on my shoulders. I also earn a lot less money.
I can work fewer hours and live with fewer things, but I will never recover what I lost. Money, luxury cars and a big house will never give me time. The moments, the little things of the past are gone and will never come back.
“Life should be easy and fun, but we rarely let it be what it is. “
We are always looking for more, always dissatisfied with what we have accomplished. It’s always better to have more. Happiness and fulfillment are always out of reach. When we grow up, we strive to finish high school. Then the goal is the university and then to get a degree. We have a family, and we live through the challenges of life, but we never stop to realize grace at every moment. We never dance.
Gratitude for life itself is always before me. The song goes on and it’s never too late to live in the present and enjoy the dance.