When a relationship goes through a difficult time, we often look at the other person and point out all the things that are annoying as if that person was the only one at fault. The reality is that we should look at our behaviors because that’s all we can control …
1. REACT LESS
In the midst of emotional situations, it is a natural reaction to overreact. It’s easy to see when the other person is overreacting. However, we are not as likely to recognize our own over-reactions.
Our actions evolve according to how we feel. Reacting less does not mean ignoring or minimizing problems, it simply means controlling our reaction. The key to less reaction is to choose to act according to what we want to feel, not what we feel.
2. STOP HURING, BEGIN TO EXCLUDE
The average person complains between 15 and 30 times a day. It’s a lot of complaints, and almost everyone is guilty. Of course, removing the need to complain is easier said than done. You must first recognize and understand what you are complaining about. Once you understand why you are complaining, you have two ways to act: You can accept the situation, or you can change it.
Once you are ready to change, start by exclaiming about what you are going to do about it, and do it. When you repeat powerful positive mantras that cause your brain to create thoughts, words and, ultimately, actions, you quickly make changes in the areas you complain about.
3. LEAVE YOUR BAGGAGE
We all have luggage. Whether it’s the expectations we’ve been carrying with us since childhood or the experiences of past relationships, luggage is keeping us from realizing the true potential of our current relationships.
Everyone at one time or another felt lonely or empty. No matter what we have, we always have the impression that something is missing. You must learn to know your true Self.
4. MAKE THE OPPOSITE POINT OF VIEW
When we disagree, it’s usually because one person has an opinion, and the other has the opposite. When we defend our point of view, we look for evidence to support our point of view, and we continue to search until we can “win”.
Imagine what would happen if you changed sides? Instead of gathering evidence to support your point of view, start gathering evidence to support the other version of the story.
5. BE CAREFUL WITH SMALL DETAILS
People are often told to “do not take everything seriously”. Paying attention to small details in relationships can be a good thing when you are dealing with your business instead of your partner’s.
There are a lot of things your partner does that annoy you: Leave your laundry on the floor, do not turn off your phone during dinner or forget to take out the trash every day. Now think of all the little things you do that may upset your partner. These are the little disturbing things that can create real conflicts in a relationship.
So, instead of taking the attitude of “not taking everything seriously”, try to pay attention to small details for a moment, it will ease tensions in your relationship.
6. ASK FOR A FAVOR
The Benjamin Franklin effect assumes we are doing good things for the people we love and bad things for those we do not like. However, psychology says the opposite, which drives us to love people when we do beautiful things for them.
In a word, asking and receiving a favor generates good feelings on both sides. Do you want to eliminate negative feelings and build rapport? Do not hesitate to ask him a favor, and do not be afraid to offer one yourself.