While some couples have a long-lasting relationship and are getting closer and closer over time, others are making and breaking up at the speed of enlightenment. Whatever their particularities, lasting relationships are based on certain winning ingredients.
We explore six essential ones: tolerance, shared values, a bond of friendship, shared words, empathy, dreams and projects ….
Here are the ingredients to know about strong couples:
1. They have appreciation
Couples who live happily for a long time are not content to love one another, but they are actively enjoying each other. Love is their stepping stone and they truly admire and respect their opinions, values and goals in a shared way. It is a practice that requires constant effort.
A competent clinician can determine, in less than 10 minutes of meeting, if a couple has a chance to last. How? By asking a simple question: “How committed are you to the survival of your relationship? “. Everyone’s commitment to the relationship not only reveals if it will last, but also indicates the overall level of satisfaction of both partners.
Let’s face it, maintaining a relationship requires a lot of dedication. Both partners must be willing to get involved together and honestly. It is important to note that conflicts serve to enrich and bring new impetus to the relationship, if they are well managed. As long as each spouse is willing to invest in making the relationship work, there is a good chance they will.
3. They have empathy
Empathy, as opposed to sympathy, is about understanding how the spouse feels about their point of view, rather than projecting your own beliefs. Happy couples are actively engaged in understanding and supporting their emotional states. This attitude, in turn, generates positive behavior in society (such as helping and volunteering). Being sincere to your partner is essential to build trust.
4. They have a great complicity
Happy couples like to spend time together and make it a priority. Sometimes it is good to take a vacation with your spouse to escape and rejuvenate your union. But just as communication requires work, creating quality time with your partner requires as much.
This may seem obvious, but you would be surprised to see how many couples spend time together only on shopping, discussing daycare or arguing over who left the toothpaste stopper open. Make the difference.
5.They have regular intimate relationships
The human being is conditioned to believe that attraction inevitably disappears over time. As men get older, they experience a drop in testosterone and hardly feel the excitement. Women, on the other hand, produce proportionately more estrogen and remain more sensitive.
This increase in desire, coupled with the decline of arousal in humans, can have an impact on self-esteem and the relationship itself. At this point, it is important to increase communication and create the circumstances to enhance the physical and emotional attraction.
6. They have a couple project
We could compare the couple with a small company. Viable couples put into practice the famous quotation from Saint Exupéry. To love is to look in the same direction. Whether you dream together of being the richest couple or, conversely, to devote your life to the most unfortunate, or, to acquire the house of his dreams where to conceive a family, the essential thing is to be in agreement.