Love grief can be the worst feeling in the world, and we are all guilty of telling each other little lies to relieve our suffering. Unfortunately, facing the truth may be the last thing you want to do to heal your wounded heart and refusing to accept certain things in relation to breaking up can make you obsessed with your ex for months or even years.
Here are the 5 brutal truths that we must accept to hear to forget his ex:
1. IT IS GENTILATED ONLY TO NOT INJURY YOU
We have all experienced this scenario where we are told “you are an incredible person”, who “deserves better” or “whoever ends with you will be a lucky man”. This can be confusing because the same person who tells you that, also says that she does not want to be with you anymore and until very recently she told you she loved you.
Often we want to believe that people say that because they do not really know what they want and maybe they will come back. But that’s not the case, they say that because they do not want to hurt you and feel guilty about breaking up with you. Breaking with someone is not a pleasant experience, and they will do everything to try to soften things, so even if his words can be helpful, you will not come back together.
2. YOUR FRIENDS AND YOUR FAMILY ARE NOT ALWAYS REASON
Although they try to help, tips from friends and relatives about a breakup can sometimes be the last thing you need. Most of the time, they will try to sweeten a situation to make you feel better. They will tell you “it was not the right time,” “he had problems with commitment” or “one day, he will realize what he missed and will be upset”.
This does not help you because you are clinging to these theories rather than accepting the harsh truth that the relationship is over. Friends and family can also be guilty of demonizing your ex. They can describe him as the worst person in the world, which only complicates things by making you feel disappointed.
This dramatization prevents you from seeing the truth that you were only two people who could not have a relationship. Remember that you are not the only person with whom he broke up, especially during a long relationship, a partner becomes a member of the family, so they also feel the loss and rejection.
3. IT DOES NOT WANT YOU
No, your ex did not become cruel in a day, he just does not think you have a future together. People do not usually end a relationship without thinking, and if there are no external factors, such as deception, then you have to accept that this is exactly what he wants. You can not force someone to love you, and if he has fallen in love with you, it may also have been a great shock to him.
You should respect him for having the courage to be honest with his feelings. Many people will stay in relationships for years because they do not want to hurt their partner, but in the end, it means you both lose your time. At least now, you know and are free to meet someone who loves you.
4. YOU WILL NEVER REALLY KNOW WHAT WOULD NOT BE
When you talk with someone, most people are guilty of thoroughly analyzing what happened, what they said and complain about not knowing exactly why the person broke up. We keep these obsessions and use them as an excuse not to move forward and instead to think about what has been wrong for months.
Do not fall into this trap, no matter what happened in your relationship, it’s over. That he told you six months ago, “I would see myself getting married to you”, or that he said he “was unable to say what was wrong”, all you need to know is that it was not enough to keep trying. He will not tell you exactly why he does not want to be with you anymore because he does not want to hurt you. Just accept and move on.
5. YOU MUST ADVANCE, EVEN IF YOU DO NOT WANT
You will mourn your relationship, and no matter how unhappy you are, there will be a moment when all you want to do is see that person.
You may both think that the best way to get out of this pain is to try again or to be in secret or to keep in touch, but that is not the case. Agree to go bad for a few days or a few months is quite normal, it does not indicate that you have made a mistake. Whenever you want to call or send an SMS, or spy on social networks, you have to stop. You are just inflicting more pain and you will take longer to recover.
The only way to feel better is to accept that everything has happened to move forward, even if you do not want to. People cross and overcome breaks every day. You too. It will never last forever.