This is indisputable: it is not easy to live with someone with ADD. You never know what to say. You have to constantly walk on eggs. We hesitate, we never know which of our steps (or our words) will trigger an explosion of feelings and emotions. This is something that we try to avoid.
People with ADD / ADHD suffer. Their daily life is more complicated than that of a typical person. Everything is more intense and amplified. Their creative minds are constantly moving, creating, conceiving, thinking, never resting. Imagine what it would be like to have a carousel constantly turning in your head.
Between emotional crises, and complete reversals of attitude, ADD tends to be harmful to the good health of a relationship. ADD is a mysterious state of opposites and extremes. For example, people with this condition can not concentrate when they are in a strong emotional state, or they are distracted. However, when a particular subject interests them, they focus so much on it that it becomes impossible to detach them. Starting a new project is difficult, but ending it is even more difficult.
The big love is total, but the TDA can really push this love in its last entrenchments. TDA puts all relationships to the test, whether with your child, companion, girlfriend, husband or fiancée. To cope with it in the most peaceful way possible, it is best to adopt a new mindset, to manage this emotional big-eight to which the TDA can submit you daily.
Understanding what a person with ADD will do will help you be more patient, tolerant, compassionate, and loving. Your relationship will become more pleasant and peaceful. This is what crosses the mind of those who suffer from ADD / ADHD.
1. They have an active spirit.
A brain with ADD never stops. It does not have an on / off button. He has no brakes to stop it gradually. It’s a burden that has to be learned to manage.
2. They listen but do not hold back what is said.
An affected person will look at you, hear your words, read your lips, but once the first five words have passed, his mind will be gone elsewhere. She will always hear you speak, but her thoughts will be miles away. Because she will think instead of the movement of your lips, or your lock of misplaced hair.
3. They have trouble staying busy on the same task.
Rather than staying focused on what they have in front of them, sick people look at the colors of the painting on the wall. As in a labyrinth, they begin to walk in one direction, but constantly change their path along the way.
4. They worry easily.
As they think a lot, they are very sensitive to their environment. For them, a noisy restaurant is equivalent to the front row of a Metallica concert. A depressing headline, and for them, the whole planet is about to sink.
5. They can not concentrate when they feel strong emotions.
If something worries them, or if they are angry, people with ADD can not think of anything else. This makes work, conversation, or social situations that require concentration impossible.
6. They focus too intensely.
When the doors of their minds open, the affected people dive like a diver into the ocean.
7. Once concentrated, they have difficulty stopping what they are doing.
Because they stay in the ocean for hours. Even if they lack oxygen, they will not rise to the surface as long as the view will please them in the depths.
8. They are unable to control their emotions.
In people with ADD, emotions are wild, disproportionate, and can not be contained. Cables entangled in their bright minds make thoughts and feelings difficult to handle. They therefore need more time to get on the same wavelength than others.
9. They do not control their words.
Their intense emotions are difficult to manage. And as they impulsively say everything that goes through their heads, they often regret their words. It is almost impossible for them to self-censor before speaking.
20 things to remember if you love someone with ADD more:
10. They feel social anxiety.
As they know each other, they are rarely comfortable in social situations. They are afraid to say or do something inappropriate. To refrain from speaking reassures them.
11. They have great intuition.
People with ADD are able to go beyond appearances to see what is behind them. They pierce the veil. This is one of the benefits of TDA. This intuitive ability makes these individuals creative geniuses. It is in these conditions that inventors, artists, writers and musicians flourish.
12. They think in an unconventional way.
Another advantage of TDA is that the abstract mind of the people affected allows them to find novel solutions to the problems facing concrete minds.
13. They are impatient and nervous, easily annoyed, they want everything and immediately
They play constantly with their phone, with their hair, their leg is constantly twitching: someone with ADD needs to be constantly moving. It is paradoxically what calms them.
14. They are physically very sensitive.
A pencil seems to weigh a ton. Imperceptible fabric fibers seem to them irritating. Their bed seems smashed. Food has for them textures unknown to the rest of humanity. As in “The Princess with the Pea”, they are able to feel a pea under twenty mattresses.
15. They are not organized.
Stacking things is their favorite storage method. Once a task is completed, the papers relating to it are stacked until the stack is too high. That’s when the person with ADD will get angry, frustrated, and clean up. Patients must be careful not to become syllogomaniacs. But it is difficult for a patient to maintain order around him, because his brain does not work in an orderly way.
16. They need to pace.
Whether on the phone or during a conversation, people with ADD must be constantly moving. It calms them, and allows them to see more clearly in their thoughts.
17. They avoid chores.
Making decisions, or having tasks to complete within a specific time period, repels them. Not because they are lazy or irresponsible, but because their minds contain too many options and possibilities. To choose only one can be problematic. Because they think too much, they often avoid making decisions. They get lost in the maze of their obsessive mind.
18. They forget the simplest tasks.
Memory is another paradox of TDA. The patients forget to get their clothes back to the laundry, to buy milk, or to go to an appointment. Yet, they forget no phone number, no quote, and no comments heard during the day. No matter how many post-its or notes on their calendar, their mind will always be distracted and absent. Visible objects are easier to memorize. That’s why on their computer, they have fifteen windows open simultaneously.
19. They do many things at the same time.
As their mind is in perpetual motion, once a task is completed, they are ready to move on to the next without taking the time to conclude the previous one well. The more simultaneous, the better. Their favorite activity is doing lots of things at the same time.
20. Everything they do fascinates them.
The emotions, thoughts, caresses, words of a person with ADD are powerful. Everything is amplified. When this phenomenon is well channeled, it is a blessing. Because a person with ADD always gives body and soul to what she does. She gives herself thoroughly. She is intense, insightful, and profound. That’s what makes a person with ADD so endearing.
Because she has difficulty controlling her impulses. And once you understand how she thinks and feels, you will discover her many qualities. You will often need to be compassionate, empathetic and patient. Feel free to take care of yourself, relax and find someone – a group, a therapist, a good friend – to advise you, rest, take a vacation, and find a hobby. And most importantly, learn to take a break.
Some of the most famous inventors, artists, musicians, writers and business leaders suffer from ADD / ADHD. If they succeeded, it was because they had a loving close, ready to support them in their daily struggle against their condition. Swish your anger for compassion. Realize how difficult they are to achieve what is natural to you. Imagine a brain suffering from ADD as an electrical panel with poorly connected cables. And the next time you think people are lazy, irresponsible, disorganized, and deny responsibility, remember how difficult it is for them to do anything.
Yes, individuals with ADD / ADHD are difficult to live with, but once you have better understood their fight, your heart will open to them. Love and compassion will replace anger. And you will finally see the essence of their sweet and generous soul.
Source: 20 things to remember if you love someone with ADD: