All her life, photographer Katie Joy Crawford has struggled with her anxiety disorders, and that’s why she’s the perfect person to produce this series of poignant photos that tell us what it’s like to live with this burden. .
To describe her project, entitled “Anxious Heart”, she explains that “anxiety annihilates, in people who suffer from it, any desire to discover, to explore new ideas, as well as the possibility of leaving one’s comfort. Anxiety ensures that you will always be at his side. It is always present, whether in your happiest moments, or in the solitude of your own consciousness. She is discreet but constant, she constantly reminds you of past failures, and she always corrupts your future goals. “
This project is very personal for Crawford: “I try to capture on film the true essence of anxiety, based on my own experiences and anecdotes. Thanks to this personal adventure, I managed to mature, and I understood that putting my fears into images had become a therapeutic act, as well as a means for others to express their suffering, and to start making a first impression. not on the path of healing. “(source: | Facebook | Instagram)
Self-portraits that explain everything about anxiety disorder:
Captive of my own mind. The instigator of my own thoughts. The more I think about it, and the more it gets worse. The less I think about it, the more it gets worse. Breathe. Just breathe. Let yourself be carried. It will eventually calm down.
No matter how much I resist, it’s always there, ready to wrap me in his embrace, to cover me up, to dive with me. Every day, I fight it “you’re not good for me, and you’ll never be.” But every day, it’s back, when I wake up, or when I fall asleep. Anxiety takes my breath away. She takes the words out of my mouth.
I am constantly reminded to breathe. I can feel my chest coming and going. Go, and come. Go, and come. But why do I feel choking? I put my hand under my nose, to make sure the air circulates well. And yet, I still can not breathe.
A glass of water is not heavy. You do not even pay attention when you use one. But what if you can not empty it or rest it? What if you had to bear his weight for days, months, years? The weight does not change, but the burden, though. Then comes a moment when you forget how a glass of water may have been light. Sometimes you have to gather all your energy to act as if the glass was not there. And sometimes you have no choice but to drop it.
I was afraid to sleep. I felt an absolute panic in complete darkness. Or rather, no, black was not scary. It was rather the little light that filtered that was scary. The light, and the ominous shadow she projected.
Feel numb. What an oxymoron! And yet, it’s so appropriate. But can we really feel numb? Or is it rather the ability to feel something that is numb? Am I so used to feeling numb that I think of it as a sensation?
My head is filling with helium. I lose my concentration. The decision to be made, however, is so insignificant. The question asked, however, has such an obvious answer. But my mind refuses to cooperate. It’s as if all the threads of my brain are suddenly tangled up.
Anxiety, yet you have been created for me, and by me. You were created to isolate me. You were created by a virulent phenomenon of self-defense. You are only lies and afraid. Fear of unkept promises, and too rare trust lost forever. All my life, you slowly grew up. You have become stronger and stronger.
Injuries so deep that they will never heal. A pain so real that it is unbearable. That’s what I became: a wound, an open wound. And I only know that same pain: short breathing, empty eyes, trembling hands. If it’s so painful, why do not I get rid of it? Maybe … because that’s all I know.
I’m afraid to live and afraid to die. What a great way to exist!
Depression is when you do not feel anything anymore. Anxiety is when you feel too much. To suffer from both at the same time is to attend a permanent war, delivered in your own brain. To suffer both at the same time is to be constantly on the losing side.
It feels strange, in the pit of his stomach. It’s like when you swim at the pool, and want to put your feet on the bottom, but you suddenly realize that you do not have foot. You can not reach the bottom, and your heartbeat stops briefly.
(source 12 self-portraits that explain everything about anxiety disorder: | Facebook | Instagram)