By “bath time”, I’m not talking about you relaxing in the bathtub filled with warm water. No ! I want to say that you should love bathing your little ones, because boys love it. You must be prepared for the smell of wet dog, soapy and slippery floor and of course tons of dirty towels. Do not relax too much, the blow of the towels, it will not change even when they grow old. As a bonus, the shower gel disappears so fast that it’s as if your child was eating it. Yes, each age has its faults, it is difficult to change, but very useful to anticipate!
PS: a tip, buy products (shower gel and shampoo) cheap …
Very important things
2. You must think that farts are really funny.
Fortunately, nothing makes me laugh, so the adaptation was easy enough for me. The little boys find the farts super funny. And your behavior with regard to their delusions can change everything. If you laugh with them, you come out grown up, and your role will be simplified. On the other hand, if you try to prove to them by a + b that it is not funny and that they must stop laughing like idiots, your cause is lost. And even if for you, farts are not at all fun, make an effort, promised it will help you!
3. You must be prepared to constantly fight, CONSTANTLY, with the toilet seat.
From the moment I was pregnant with my first boy, I made a promise: to teach them how to use the toilet properly. You know, raise the telescope, lower the seat, etc … On that, I have always been uncompromising, because one of my fears was that they grow up and become men unable to leave clean toilets. But despite my efforts and my pugnacity, there is always something wrong. One remembers raising the telescope, but forgets to shoot. The other knows that you have to shoot, but do not lower the siege. One leaves the toilet paper lying around, the other does not throw it when it’s finished, anyway! It’s really exhausting to keep clean toilets when boys use them. Then good luck !
4. You must rethink all your security standards.
No one calls for child protection services! I’m not talking about leaving your child in a car without a car seat or letting him play with a lighter. But think of the mother who sterilizes each bottle and other bottles of her son religiously (we all know one). It’s hard to be that kind of mom with boys, because they are always running right and left, jumping everywhere, rolling, climbing corridors, and real electric batteries! Often, things that seem innocuous to you can turn into enormous danger to your offspring. So open your eyes, be vigilant, the secret is anticipation!
Very important things
5. You must not be surprised by their mood jumps.
If I had won a dollar each time someone said to me, “Oh, you’re lucky, boys are a lot less emotionally hot than girls! I will surely be a billionaire today. So there are two possibilities, either I have the two most emotional boys in the world, or this idea and a nice stupidity. I can tell you that when I do not let them listen to the music on my headphones or when I tell them that this is not the time to play the console, their reactions are not long! Little anecdote, there is little, my boy of 8 years shouted “I hate this house and all my brothers” after a contest of roast where apparently there would have been cheat! In short, you see, the little guys are also able to pack for nothing, so be ready!
6. You must be prepared for disorder.
Sometimes I’m a little crazy so I put my heart into my home’s storage. But unfortunately, except if you have the means to pay a full-time housekeeper, with one or more boys at home, you’ll have to make concessions, that’s inevitable. I do not just talk about toys that drag, simply, we must admit that boys are in general really messy. And believe me, this has nothing to do with lack of coaching, I spend 75% of my time explaining things to them (and the remaining 25% cleaning up and storing what they did while I talking). Again, like the toilet, you will have to learn to repeat, repeat, repeat and repeat. Come on ladies, we hang on!
7. You must always have food on you (in large quantities, it is better).
He caught me off guard. When children are small, they eat absolutely nothing, and when they grow up, in the space of a few months, they become the biggest morfales that the world is known! So obviously, we, in the middle of all this, we do not necessarily follow … But rest assured, the surprise works only for the first child. At home, check often enough that the fridge is full. Indeed, once they have become used to it, it’s crazy as boys tend to be hungry at any time of the day or night. And as much to say that it is better to be prepared! Ah … I’m so impatient that they’re older …
8. You must be ready to say goodbye to your jeans .
The first time I read this, I did not believe it, but 4 boys later, I must admit that the speed at which my little monsters ruin my jeans is particularly impressive! In theory, jeans are sold to be resistant, but the crawling, scratching, as well as the tasks seem to be on top of that.
9. You must be cool with nudity.
I still wonder how my boys were able to cope with so many jeans, because it’s not like they often wear them at home. In fact, it’s not like they’re wearing something at home. From my experience, from the age when they are able to take off their clothes themselves, they do it all the time. My boys start to undress the moment they come home from school. From time to time, they wander in underwear for a while, but it does not really last. Future moms, be tolerant with the nudity of your children!
Very important things
10. You must be ready to see him catch his penis incessantly.
They will catch it whenever they get the chance. Your adorable child will try to reach his zizi as soon as you have removed his diaper. These are my 9 years of maternity experience that speak to you. There are no special places for that, in the bath or in front of the TV, it’s when they want! But after a while, you will not even pay attention! And then you’ll be busy tidying up or buying new jeans!
In short, all that to say that when you are going to be a mother, there are certain inevitable things that you have to prepare. It may be the best job in the world, it may be the hardest! Congratulations to all the moms on the planet, you’re great, keep it up!